More Pug than Persian…(SIT!!!)

I have discovered this week that I’m not as much of a cat person as I thought I was. I think it comes down to my basic passive aggressive nature that I pretend I don’t have but really I do.

I have always had dogs, I know how to train them, control them, understand them. I’ve never had a cat & now I think I understand why.
Cat owner & dog owners differ in personalities when it comes to pets, maybe when it comes to life. With their pets dog owners are shouty, verbal people who like things done with voice commands.’Get down, fetch this, sit, stand, play dead’, like to be listened to, in control. Cat owners are arrangers, doers, get things done physically. They have to physically move a cat to get it to stop doing things. They have to pick it up and place it where they want it, they have to push them off when they start licking their balls whilst lying on their lap. Cats are a whole different ball game to dogs, you can’t order a cat to get down, they ignore you & carry on licking their bits with their fish scented sandpaper tongues, then throw up the fur they’ve just licked off and walk off, unhindered by guilt or shame, at least dogs try to hide their sick by eating it or sit by it for ages looking shameful & sad. But also cat owner are much more laid back about their pet & let them climb all over everything, let them go anywhere, to who knows where at whatever time. I’m way too obsessive for a cat, what happens to it when it goes out, where does it go, who else is touching it, etc etc? A dog is always close, always has to listen to commands, is loyal, cats, not so much, they’re fickle little things.
It is my observations that cats have no guilt, where as dogs do, they can feel guilty for their actions, it may only be fleeting but it’s there. Cats don’t give a crap, they’re too self serving. Dogs understand emotions & pick up on them, cats don’t care, the nonchalant little felines can turn maniac in a second and don’t care if you’re crying your eyes out over spilt milk, they still get their claws out & try to take your eyes out to play with regardless of how you’re feeling, or just casually slink off to rub themselves against the bin & excavate the litter tray as if showing you how much of a crap they care about you or your milk before disappearing over the neighbours fence.

Maybe that’s why mad cat women have so many cats, because they crave the attention but don’t want the responsibility & you won’t get that affection from just one of them which is why they end up with loads. It’s so they always have at least one of the selfish little things on their lap at a time while the others are off doing as they please. A houseful of dogs would be too demanding, too sad.

Having a cat sit on my boobs with his back leg stretched in the air in front of my nose and not moving as I instructed it to get down was a moment of realisation for me, when that cat defied my instruction I didn’t know what to do, how to move him, I’ve never pushed a cat before so didn’t know how to, I was scared how he would react, whether I’d get my eyes scrammed out or not. It just carried on licking, it took a friend to pick it up off me to stop it, he had decided he was going to do it and all my words were not going to stop him, I wasn’t used to this. It appears I’m an insecure control freak with trust issues that likes to shout orders to gain some tiny amount of twisted self confidence. It’s also highlighted the notion that I can relate to a dog more than a cat. I mean I used to like to think I was like Nastassja Kinski in Cat People, slinky, confident, sexy and lithe when in fact I was probably more like Rolf in the Muppets, insecure, nervous, short, throw a stick for me and I’m off, eager to please. Cats are an enigma to me, they do all the things I’d like to do but can’t and that includes putting their legs over their heads! I’d like to be more cat like, more curious, free, aloof, confident, instead I’m Barbara Woodhouse & her dog Bertie. I like that the dog does as I ask, gets excited about going for walks. I also like companionship that’s reciprocated, walks with a friend, I’m not good at not knowing where my loved ones are, need to know where they are & if they’re safe. I need that reassurance, obedience?, I like a pack family. Occasionally I bite.

My husband just reckons I’m reading too much into it and that I’m just a little bossy and I’m just used to dogs, which is fine, as at least I admit to being bossy, (I don’t. It drives me insane when he says this which is maybe because the truth hurts). I am bossy which is why I am a dog person & why cats infuriate me with their bugger you aloof attitude. You know where you are with a dog. My husband is doglike he and my dog are very similar in so many ways, but my husband doesn’t fall for my Barbara Woodhouse impersonations and neither would I want him to, but my husband & dog smell the same and have the same hair.

I like being a dog person I like dogs, with dogs I’m in control pack leader … Me…..I have to be in control of something otherwise it all falls apart…..

*whistles for dog*

“Good boy……..”

(My therapy starts in a week!!)